📍 If you only catch up on crypto once this week, start here.
Australia just decided crypto needs a licence to operate like a bank. The SEC and CFTC named 16 crypto assets as commodities, FINALLY! BlackRock launched an ETH fund that pays you monthly like a term deposit. And then Jerome Powell opened his mouth on Wednesday night and Bitcoin dropped 4% anyway.
Wild week. Here's what it all means.
BTC nudged up just 1.8% on the week but don't let that fool you — it was a wild ride. Bitcoin was sitting pretty at $74K heading into the Fed meeting Wednesday, then Powell opened his mouth and it slid back to $71K within hours. ETH was the quiet winner of the week at 8.6% up, XRP held strong at 6%, and the overall crypto market cap sits at $3.31 trillion. Not bad for a week where the Fed basically said "don't hold your breath for rate cuts."
Cryptocurrency prices by market cap via CoinGecko
Australian Senate Backs Crypto Licensing Framework
So what happened?
Australia's Senate Economics Legislation Committee has backed the Corporations Amendment (Digital Assets Framework) Bill 2025, recommending it pass — which would require crypto exchanges and custody platforms to hold a financial services licence, just like a bank or broker.
Why does it matter?
If you use a crypto exchange in Australia, this is actually good news. It means the platforms holding your assets would have to meet real standards around how they protect your money, report to regulators, and handle things if they go under. Think of it like the moment crypto stops being the Wild West and starts having some actual rules of the road. The BlockFills bankruptcy this week — an institutional lender that lost $75M and allegedly mixed client funds with company money — is a timely reminder of exactly why those rules matter.
The bigger picture
Australia is now one of the most advanced countries in the world when it comes to building a proper crypto framework — and if this bill passes, exchanges will have six months to get licensed or get out. The timing isn't lost on anyone: Gemini shut down its Australian operations just weeks ago. The question now is whether regulation brings more trust into the market, or just pushes the riskier players offshore.
🟢 The Fed held rates — but Powell just said a hike might be back on the table — The Fed kept rates at 3.50–3.75% as expected, but Powell's press conference rattled markets. Inflation forecasts were revised up, seven members now see zero cuts in 2026, and when asked about a rate hike Powell didn't rule it out. Bitcoin slid from $74K to $70,900 within hours — the "sell the news" pattern strikes again. (plus more on this in WTF below) Read more →
🟢 Bitcoin Breaks $74K as Crypto Posts Best Weekly Gains Since Before the War — Bitcoin broke above the $74,000 level after multiple failed attempts, leading a broad crypto rally where ETH, SOL and other major tokens posted their strongest weekly gains since before the war. Signs of de-escalation in the Strait of Hormuz — including limited reopening to commercial shipping and softer rhetoric from Iran — eased oil prices and weakened the dollar, improving liquidity conditions for risk assets. Read more →
🟢 Memecoins Outrun Bitcoin — PEPE Up 19% in a Day — The top-performing token among the top 100 over the past 24 hours was PEPE, surging 19%, with BONK and PENGU up over 10% — five of the day's best-performing coins were meme tokens. Read more →
🟢 Sam Altman's World + Coinbase Want AI Agents to Prove They're Human — World, an identity project cofounded by Sam Altman, launched AgentKit — a developer toolkit that lets AI agents carry cryptographic proof they're backed by a unique human, using the World ID system. It integrates with Coinbase and Cloudflare's x402 protocol for stablecoin micropayments, aiming to make AI agents verifiable economic participants rather than suspicious automated traffic. Read more →
🟢 Crypto ETP Inflows Hit $1.06B — Third Consecutive Week of Positive Flows — Crypto investment products recorded $1.06 billion in inflows for the week ending March 13 — the third consecutive week of positive flows, bringing the three-week cumulative total to $2.7 billion. Bitcoin led with $793 million, followed by Ethereum at $315 million, with Solana adding $9.1 million. Read more →
🟢 BlackRock's Staked Ethereum ETF Is Live on Nasdaq — The launch of BlackRock's iShares Staked Ethereum Trust ETF combines spot ETH exposure with monthly staking income on Nasdaq, directly contributing to Ethereum's $315 million in weekly ETP inflows. Read more →
🟢 The SEC and CFTC just named 16 crypto assets as commodities, NOT securities — The SEC and CFTC jointly issued a 68-page interpretation on March 17 explicitly naming 16 crypto assets — including Bitcoin, Ethereum, Solana, XRP, and Dogecoin — as digital commodities, ending years of regulatory uncertainty. This is the legal clarity the industry has been screaming for since 2022. The CLARITY Act still needs to pass to make it permanent, but this is a big step. Read more →
🟢 North Korea hacked a crypto gift card platform and used one employee's laptop to do it — Bitrefill disclosed it was targeted in a March 1 cyberattack that escalated from a compromised employee laptop to broader infrastructure access, with evidence pointing to North Korean hacking groups Lazarus and Bluenoroff. About 18,500 purchase records were accessed. The reminder that one dodgy email can bring down an entire platform never gets old. Read more →
🟢 Mastercard just spent $1.8 billion to get into the stablecoin business — Mastercard agreed to acquire BVNK, a London-based stablecoin infrastructure firm, for up to $1.8 billion. The deal lets Mastercard plug blockchain-based payment rails directly into its global network. Translation: the company that runs your tap-and-pay just decided stablecoins are the future of money movement. Read more →
🟢 Strategy just bought another $1.57 billion worth of Bitcoin — Strategy purchased 22,337 bitcoin for $1.57 billion last week, bringing total holdings to 761,068 coins — its largest single purchase since January. Michael Saylor now holds more Bitcoin than most countries. Whether that's genius or madness probably depends on what happens to the price next week. Read more →
🟢 PayPal just took its stablecoin global — 70 countries, available now — PayPal expanded its dollar-backed stablecoin PYUSD to users in 70 markets. Merchants accepting PYUSD can access proceeds within minutes rather than waiting days for traditional settlement. On the same day Mastercard spent $1.8B on stablecoin infrastructure, PayPal quietly went global. Stablecoins are having a moment. Read more →
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The Fed met this week and did exactly what everyone expected — held interest rates steady at 3.50–3.75%. No surprise there. But the market still sold off. Bitcoin dropped from $74K to $70,900 within hours of Powell finishing his press conference. If nothing changed, why did crypto tank?
The real story wasn't the rate decision. It was something called 'the dot plot'.
This week's term: The Dot Plot
The Fed has 19 members who vote on interest rates.
Four times a year, each of them privately writes down where they personally think rates should be over the next few years. The Fed collects all 19 predictions, plots them as anonymous dots on a chart, and publishes it. That chart is the dot plot — and it's basically the closest thing we have to reading the Fed's mind.
This week the dots shifted. More members than before now think there'll be zero rate cuts in 2026. Powell even refused to rule out a hike. For crypto, which loves cheap money and hates the opposite, that was enough to spook the market — no rate change required.
Episode 222 - BlackRock Builds, Saylor Buys, Boris Attacks
TIMESTAMPS:
2:12 Blackrock launches a brand-new product - first crypto ETF that will let you generate a yield
5:15 Michael Saylor's Strategy buys up BIG!
7:48 Spicing things up now - enter Boris Johnson!
11:14 Short, sharp news bites
Auto-invest AND touch grass. That's the whole strategy. #IYKYK
Australia just decided crypto needs a licence to operate. The Fed just reminded everyone that cheap money isn't coming back anytime soon. And Bitcoin, which had its best week in months going into Wednesday, ended it nursing a 4% bruise courtesy of Jerome Powell's press conference.
Three stories. One theme: crypto is growing up whether it wants to or not. The rules are tightening, the macro is unforgiving, and the days of "anything goes" feel further away every week.
The question worth sitting with until next Thursday — is that actually a bad thing?
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